Sacrilege Sacrilege Sacrilege You Say
Some Guys Just Can't Hold Their Arsenic
i. ii. iii. iv. v. vi.
I heard that you like the bad girls.
Honey, is that true?


THE RULER&THE KILLER | a playlist for that ethereal couple, who for all their softness with one another, can take a kingdom down from within to it’s barest foundations. [ listen ]

i. kid cudi — the ruler & the killer // ii. lorde — glory and gore // iii. florence + the machine — seven devils (kraddy remix) // iv. the white stripes — seven nation army (glitch mob remix) // v. alpines — empire (creep mix) // vi. yeah yeah yeahs — heads will roll (a-trak remix) // vii. professor green ft. sierra kusterbeck — avalon (patrick hagenaar club mix) // viii. yeasayer — rome


The Wedding, Part 2 [continuation of this fic]

cute dorks, michael is still a Dick, and gabriel is meddling

“Father knows that you and your pauper husband barely touched last night,” Michael said in an undertone. “There were charms set. You are expected to of your duty to the throne and uphold your marriage vows.” 

Lucifer’s brother slipped away before he could respond, and he bit down on his lip, now in an ill-temper. The day had already started off badly, with Samuel—Sam—looking like he’d been up in the night crying, now barely touching his breakfast. 

Admittedly, Lucifer wasn’t overly hungry either. Nerves had twisted his stomach into knots. 

“Good morning, brothers,” Gabriel said, cheerfully and over-loudly as he dropped into the chair Michael had vacated. 

“Good morning,” Lucifer returned. Sam mumbled something that could have been a greeting into his bowl. It occurred to Lucifer abruptly that Sam had likely heard some of what Michael had hissed to him. Any remaining traces of hunger vanished instantly and he shoved his food away. 

“Wow, someone didn’t get their beauty sleep.” Gabriel was so much more obnoxious in the mornings. 

“Some of us were up half the night,” Lucifer snapped, and then instantly hurried to make sure there was no room for interpretation in his poor phrasing. “As were you. What’s made you so chipper?” 

“I’m just so pleased to have a new brother to dote on,” Gabriel said, far, far too delightedly. He reached over Lucifer to pat Sam’s arm. 

Sam made a noise like a startled wolfhound, complete with the droopy hair and eyes. 

“Where’s dear Anna this morning?” Lucifer tried to redirect. 

“Probably seduced a minor noble last night and is happily sleeping in,” Gabriel said with a wave of his hand that Lucifer narrowly rescued the cream from being a victim of. “Maybe she got Sam’s brother. Then I could have two new brothers!” Clearly Gabriel wasn’t in a tactful mood this morning. 

“All the better for the rest of us,” Lucifer said. “Then maybe we’d sleep better knowing we were safe from your tormenting.” 

“I’ll always have time to wind you up, never fear, Luci dearest,” Gabriel reassured. Sam snorted out a surprised laugh and looked up. 

Lucifer felt an unusual rush of affection for his younger brother. 

“Pity that Anna isn’t here to see you off,” Gabriel mused. “Ooh! Shall I arrange for some courtesans to meet you on your journey?” 

“That will not be necessary,” Lucifer said. “Wait, no, I didn’t mean—” He shot a glance at Sam, who still looked amused, relievingly. 

“You’re right,” Gabriel agreed. “You’d make a pretty good courtesan yourself. I’d better go slip the women’s underwear into your luggage, then.” Lucifer endured his sloppy and enthusiastic kiss on the cheek before Gabriel got up and headed toward the door. “Bye, Sam!” he called. “Have fun!” 

The door snapped shut. 

“I’ll never understand how he eats so much while talking so quickly,” Lucifer said, eyeing the emptied pastry dish. 

Sam chuckled again. He had a nice laugh. “He was right, though, it’s about time to go.” He paused. “Look, about what Michael said—”

“Don’t worry about that,” Lucifer interrupted instantly. “He’s an ass. I don’t want to—”

“I know my duty,” Sam snapped. Abruptly the traces of good humor in the air were gone. “You don’t have to hold back for my sake, I can handle a roll in the sheets for the sake of our union working.” 

“I meant I don’t want to,” Lucifer said. He was aware, suddenly and horrifyingly, that he must be blushing. “Yet, I mean. I don’t—I’ve never—” He cleared his throat. 

“Oh,” Sam said. He looked surprised. “I thought, since you’re a, uh, I thought you would’ve—um.” He looked back down at the table, his cheeks flushing too. 

“Yes, well.” Lucifer wanted to die of humiliation. “I haven’t had the desire and the occasion coincide yet.” 

“I see,” Sam said, which could’ve been awful and condescending, but he looked more understanding than anything. “I, uh, haven’t really, either. Not technically.” 

“Hm,” Lucifer said noncommittally, picking at the tablecloth. 

The door opened again and Michael stuck his head in. “What on earth is taking so long?” he demanded. 

Lucifer stood up with more haste than he’d intended. 

“We’ll be right there,” Sam said, standing more gracefully. “Apologies for making you wait.” 

Michael grumbled something and let the door bang as it closed. Sam managed a small, albeit nervous, smile. 

“Shall we, then?” he asked. 

They made their way out of the breakfast room and into the halls. Catching a quick, shy glance from Sam, Lucifer reached out and they held hands on their way out of the castle.  

His father and brothers were waiting for them at the gates, accompanied by a yawning Anna. He swiftly kissed them all goodbye and accepted their well-wishing. He turned to help Sam into the carriage only to find he’d been beaten to the job, as Sam was already holding the door open for him. 

Anna slipped forward first to murmur a goodbye to Sam before letting him help Lucifer hop inside. The door shut a moment later as Sam slid into the seat. Lucifer waved to his family. 

They started off with a jolt. 

“So, where exactly are we going?” Sam asked. 

Of course nobody had thought to tell him. 

“The seaside,” Lucifer said. “It’s a tradition, but it’s easy enough to travel to other places once we’re there.” He tried to sound comforting. “It’ll be fun. I haven’t seen the ocean in years.” 

“I haven’t ever,” Sam admitted. 

“You haven’t?” Lucifer was scandalized. “It’s wonderful, you’ll love it. It’s very sunny and the water is perfectly cool, and—” 

He went off on a bit of a tangent, but Sam didn’t seem bothered. On the contrary, he seemed quite content to listen. 

At some point along the journey, Lucifer began to tentatively hope that their marriage might actually manage to work, maybe even be enjoyable. 

Sam began a story about a ridiculous stunt his brother had insisted on pulling off at one point, and Lucifer settled in to listen.


Part 1, Probably

notes/warnings: sam and luci are 16. there’s a lot of this that brings up consent issues. arranged marriages. class issues.religious/catholic themes because i don’t know where my life is going if i keep writing a priest marrying the devil to a human.

also, michael is a Dick, capital d, and everyone wants to talk sex w sam.

Sam would never have even dreamed of marrying into royalty. He was the son of a minor noblewoman with no plans in mind beyond a vague hope to go to university.

And yet. The Noble House of Angels had extended an offer.

"Arm up," the demon attending him said. Sam raised an arm and she wrapped it in gauzy cloth before attaching it to the band placed around his neck.

"All done," she said in satisfaction. "Now onto shaping."

"What’s—" Sam asked, twisting, and the demon knocked him back into his seat.

"Stay still," she scolded, and pulled out a brush. Sam shut his eyes as directed and tried not to flinch away from the colors being painted on his skin.

"Good," she said, and helped Sam stand. He wobbled on the heels of his shoes. "You’ll do."

Those weren’t the most encouraging phrase she could have chosen, Sam thought as he limped to the waiting room. A priest was waiting to cleanse him of the impurity of his life thus far.

Sam kind of wanted to scream.

Read More


Sam/Lucifer AU

Lucifer is a single father with four daughters, and finds that it’s difficult to raise them all on his own and still hold down a job. Sam on the other hand is a young struggling artist in need of a steady income. Some strategically placed fliers and a little luck bring the two together. With Sam taking care of the girls, Lucifer can finally take a breather. The kids love Sam, and Lucifer takes quite a shine to him as well. Soon enough, the two of them strike up a fledgling romance. But they hit a roadblock in their relationship when Sam learns that Lucifer used to be involved with the Mafia.

where villains spend the weekend

Rating: Teen (mentions of sex)
Prompter: amayakumiko
Prompt: Lucifer is a singer who sings with the house band at the bar Sam works at. He really shouldn’t be there, he’s way too good for their shitty little establishment. But there he is, singing his heart out every Wednesday-Saturday.
Author’s Note: The title is from Panic! At the Disco’s “Vegas Lights”, hope you like it!! (Thank you to Anne for looking it over at 1AM!)
Word Count: 1,945


Only then it’s totally ok, because there’s a sort of slow and awkward pressing catch of fingers into his back. Like Lucifer’s never hugged anyone before. Sam’s confident that Lucifer will get it though, because hugging is easy. You just sort of fall into each other and hold on.

— from Best Idea Ever

I don’t entirely know why i like this so much, but I think it’s because it’s really sweet. Plus, I honestly believe everything on Supernatural would have, does, and will turn out better if all of the characters got more hugs as children. 

And then lots as adults as well. Or older wavelengths of celestial intent. Or demons with preferences for expensive scotch and bespoke suits. Yep. 


Can you imagine believing love is endless. You’re born knowing love is strength and power. It fills and completes you. You are love. It’s something you give and hold close to your chest. Then to find out from the being you absolutely love and respect the most that there is an ‘end’ to love. That the love you gave made you weak and vulnerable. That you fit into a certain plan — a tragedy that must happen. You become distrustful of love and with love. You never give another your love freely. You simply should never give it and you never do. You hoard it and rarely ration it out to yourself. They call you prideful. You call yourself wise. 

Then one day a single human being makes you realize that loving another is worth it. It’s worth falling all over again.

And you fall.